Di kala Isnin Datang dan Berlalu

Mungkin ia tiada kaitan dengan tajuk di atas. Mungkin ada juga..dan mungkin memang tiada. Hanya si penulis blog ini yang tahu. Dengan berbekalkan ilham dari Gudang Garam , ideaku melimpah-limpah tapi setakat ini, tak banyak yang ingin disampaikan. Cuma buah fikiran seseorang yang sedang kesepian. Tiada panggilan dari kawan mahupun teman. Tak apa..I'll just wait..

Pagi tadi, I think I woke up in the wrong side of the bed..Or was it the anxiety that killed me first thing in the morning? Menunggu text dari seseorang yang amat dicintai. Salahku juga kerana lambat membalas pesanannya malam sebelumnya. Ku terjaga dalam kira-kira pukul 6.30 pagi dan well the rest is history. Aku hanya boleh katakan "I'm sorry for what I did this morning. For being a total bitch .For disappointing you. I love you with every beat of my small heart". Some say it's mostly my fault while others say it's not intentional and it was just a total coincidence tapi I still feel the aftershock of it.Thanks to my anxiety attack (if that even exists) and the guilt I felt..aku hanya dapat mengalirkan air mata sambil memikirkan kesudahan alternatif pagiku. "If only I was there..." hanyalah kata-kata yang mampu aku bisikkan di sebalik air mata yang mula berkumpul di mataku.Shit happens..hidup la katakan..Walaupun surprise Baby tak menjadi,namun aku terharu dengan usahanya and for that, I thank him and I am sure he knows how much I appreciate him amidst all the verbal wars and emotional meltdowns with myself or the people around me..Oh well, kita tingalkan sajalah cerita itu sampai di sini..

II

We are so caught up with our material lives the we tend to get involved in cases of "concerns and neglect" a lot of times..in our daily lives..Neglect in the terms of forgetting other people..or even minimizing their involvement in our daily lives just because..of some certain 'inevitable' facts. And well,this is where the heartless human actions come in...It's even available online and on the streets. Whispered and told by others too.. Tak percaya, buka la mata tu sendiri.
Oh well, apa yang ku bisa katakan hanyalah - "That's life!!"

Masih lagi banyak persoalan yang bermain di fikiran but I haven't got much time to do so..need to harvest my crops and reply comments in FB & MS..damn! Speaking about being caught up with cyberspace...


Sekian for now.

xoxo

Ten Thirty Eight

It's been ten minutes since I posted that title . I don't even know why I want to post a new blog. I just feel like doing it. Perhaps for the sake of feeling alone? It's so quite here..all I can hear is the Tv and some cheap fireworks outside my house. Oh yeah,dad just sneezed.

Might as well turn the music on and wait for words to fill me up..Hmm..okay. Thoughts about my life came streaming in like a river full of fertile salmons swimming upstream to mate. You probably don't get what I'm trying to convey but never mind. You don't have to understand. All I wanna do is release all those thoughts and put them down into words but I don't quite know where to start. I don't even know if I want to talk about it now. All I know is that I am missing my beau so much that it feels like I haven't seen him in ages. Honestly, no matter how long I spend time with him, it's just not adequate,not enough!!! 24 hours can pass like 24 minutes when we are together. How dreadful it feels whenever my hand is not held by the only man who has 100% of my heart. Baybee, I miss you so effin much!!!

Another Monday to fret about. I hate it. I hate Mondays. They rarely never fail to bring me down.  A lot of work to do and shit knows what issues will just pop out again like effin shrooms tomorrow. Work!!

I can't help to think about where my life takes me next. Trust me, it might look easy being me but it's far more complicated than that and the only person at this moment who is aware of my inner struggles is my beau. He's helped me go through hard times.  A lot. My girls are not that convenient to be reached at the moment so all I have is my baby. Thing is, what do I really want to do when I quit my job? What's in store for me in the future? Would everything be better? Those questions scare me a lot so I don't think I want to even answer those and I don't even want to dive into those thoughts. My head is just so full of questions that are unanswered and riddled . It's just tiring to think about it but what can I do? I'm sorry for thinking too much about things..it's stupid ,I know but..that's just my vice. Shitty, i know! *sigh*

What else can  I blab about? Well, myspace is getting really quite lately..perhaps it's due to the on-going FB phenomenon. One thing's for sure though, Myspace is def more stylish than FB! haha..I don't think I have anything else to say right now. Too tired..till my next post.


xoxo AD (Anne Dsycalculia)

ABC's - My Version (Copied from Hani Oren )

A - AVAILABLE: NO!!! taken by Ahmad Syukri Tajalli *LOVE*

B - BIRTHDAY: 28th April 1989

C - CRUSHING ON: (Refer to A) & Channing Tatum

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Strawberry Tea

E - EASIEST PERSON(s) TO TALK TO: mostly everyone that I'm close with but the EASIEST out of them all would be my babybear (Refer to A again) , Lia, Mira and Mimsy.

F - FAVORITE SONG: currently into "Nothing Left", "Room 409" , most of BMTH's song bla bla bla...

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummy Bears [they look cuter]

H - HOMETOWN: Haha..miles and miles away from Malaysia..

I - IN LOVE WITH: Ahmad Syukri Tajalli - the most amazing person in the world!

J - JUNGLE: LOST

K - KILLED SOMEONE: you mean killed them with my smile,right? *wink*

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: from penang to Phuket

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: chocolate,of course!!!

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: just 2 (including me )

O - ONE WISH: That I Will Settled Down with Someone I really-really LOVE and for a better tomorrow [ I know that's 2 :P ]

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Hmm..probably the reservation of a hotel :P

R- REASON TO SMILE: Being alive and kickin to see my babybear

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Can't remember!

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6.30++ [ I received a wake up call from someone ]

V - VEGETABLE(S): hmm...good for us..

W - WORST HABIT: ask the closest people that knows me!

X - X-RAYS YOU HAD: when I was suffering from an extreme back ache years ago.

Y – YO-YO'S ARE: so lame! Bring on PSP!

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

Whether anyone reads this or not is not a fucking big deal.

I wish everyday was a holiday. Not the kind of holiday though where you don't get to work and stuff but that feeling you get when you're in a holiday. Carefree..nothing much to worry about..but then again, that wouldn't be labeled as "living",would it? As usual, I have a fuck load of things floating in my mind right now and I don't even know where to start. Should I talk about the first thing that crosses my mind? Yes?! No?! Gosh..if it wasn't for these stupid emotions though, I wouldn't be alive . Yet there are just times when I feel like abstinence from emotion is the best antidote. If anyone reads this, they're probably baffled about what I'm really trying to convey but whatever.. If they think I'm talking crap then they would have left my page even before they finished reading this sentence but to those who didn't, Kudos to them for putting up with me and my issues. First of all, lets start with something really easy . Let's talk about my day for instance (sigh). I woke up with the sound of my alarm and it kind of surprised me that I did wake up but then I fell asleep again so I wasn't that proud of myself . I woke up at 7.09am instead of 6.30am. Gives me the guilty feeling cause due to my lethargic state of mind, she was late for work. Weird thing was, I wasn't late and I'm the one who works further away from her. Work was alright and there's nothing much that I want to talk about when it comes to that so let's just move on with the story. Ok, so after work Bie and I decided to go for a short food trip and the next thing we know, we were in front of Pavilion. I had no idea why we were so eager to go there in the first place. Perhaps it was just another camouflage that my head thought of . Another reason to remind myself of the times I spent with my dear beau there (sigh). We were walking around Food Republic when I came across the shop that I had been eying on for several times every time we went there. Aah, there they were..on a white plastic tray. Waiting for me to look on their way. It took me quite some time to notice how adorable they were and I did have second thoughts on getting them. My gluttony was telling me that it couldn't wait to devour it but my sensible head was telling me not to buy it as it would only make me feel bad about spending a lot for that certain thing. To no avail, I followed my gluttony instead and decided to buy them. The tiny ones cost me RM 1.23 per piece and the small sized once was RM 1.90 per piece. I bought myself 6 pieces of those sweet sin and I had to pay RM 8.72 in total. I just took 2 of the small sized ones and the other 4 was tiny. I felt really dreadful afterward cause I knew it was too expensive for m sensible head to accept. It was yet another battle of the heart and head. Damn it! I just calmed myself by telling myself that it was alright and perhaps it was worth it cuz they were delicious but my head was still fighting back. Here are some of the pics by the way,in case you were wondering how they looked like. The icing was a bit melted though from the heat and it was a lil disarranged from the travel back home . It's not that I don't like them or anything but I really got to spend my money like how I used to. Why can I save RM10 then and not now? Gluttony! That's why!! Grrrr...

Talking about food sure made me forget my main concern. Yeah i still have a lot of things to talk about. Damn! That's the price you pay for not blogging for a long time! Pfftt! Okay, next point : FUTURE. I don't hate that word either but thinking too much about it scares the shit out of me. Even though I did achieve quite a few things in life that I could be proud of but it's never enough. Why? It's all thanks to the ever growing demand of higher education qualifications and parental/personal standards. Screw it all,if you ask me. I'm just stuck in a stuppa . Unable to determine my next step. I want to continue my studies for degree but I just have a lot of questions about that . And talk about money!! 1 course could cost you a fortune. And yeah i know, people might think " what's all the worry? She's working, her parents can afford it bla bla bla" but the reality is, it's never enough. The biggest hurdle? I can't even apply for an edu load just because I'm not a Malaysian. Do you honestly think it's easy being a foreigner ? Perhaps it would be if we were among the Expat circle of life! Pftt..puhleasee! My parents aren't into those sort of things!But what do they have to worry about? They have heaps of money to spend anyways! Downside of it is though,the kids get weirder and perhaps snootier ha ha!! No offense! I am thankful for the life God has given me but,just like any humans would feel,it is still not enough. With the amount of pressure I have on my shoulders to burden, how am I gonna get through this? Bie and I still have to keep up to the 'high standards' that our cousins have set and which my mother takes pride at. Nothing would happen if i just kept on talking and not doing anything about it though so I better just shut up and start doing something about it. I just have to make sure Bie gets to college soon. For her sake, I would sacrifice my own priorities just so she could get to a higher level. Oh damn..This is one helluva-long blog. Or maybe not..but anyhow, lets change the topic again. Pics below were taken on Rachael's last day in the office. I am definitely gonna miss that Baby!

Speaking of Baby, click this link or just press "play on the widget" to check out the song that my beau has done. He gave it to me as a birthday pressie together with another valuable material ( P & C ,mind you! ) It was taken from a poem that meant a lot to him, which i wrote entitled Midnight.

And check-out some of the pics from my Birthday too! We had dinner at Bangkok Conexxion & hung out at the lounge bar in Corus Hotel. Tita's aquaintances were the entertainers there so I had a complimentary get-ur-ass-up-on-stage-and-we'll-sing-you-happy-birthday treatment hehe! Drinks courtesy by my beloved Tito Orly whom I look up to as father figure number 2!

Last but not least, I effin love this girl for standing out among the rest! Cheers and Kudos to Salin for having a tremendous talent! Keep up the good work!



Oh Well, I think that's about it for the day!
Till next time...

When A girl

When a GIRL

is not arguing ; she is thinking deeply.

looks at u with eyes full of questions ;she is wondering how long you will be around.

answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ; she is not fine at all.

stares at you ; she is wondering why you are lying.

lays on your chest ; she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

wants to see you everyday; she wants to be pampered.

says ' I love you ' ; she means it.

says ' I miss you ' ; no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person.

A great guy is someone :

who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Who kisses your forehead.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!!"

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE : so true!

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Insanity.A Saturday I Could Never Forget

I've been utterly depressed since last night . It was a call that I did not want to answer. A call that I was not even expecting. As I was chatting the night away with Topeq (who's flying to Japan later today), I received a call from an unknown number. The call was too quick for my brain to scan every single word that the person was saying even though the speed of his speech was slow. "Shook accident" .."kereta langgar motor".. "kaki kiri dia patah" were the only sentences that I could remember. I held back my tears and agony of hearing the news yet my sister can clearly see my pain. "what?".."serious?" "jangan main-main"..those were the words that I uttered. His brother told me that he was not joking . At that very moment, I felt like my blood flushed out of my body. It also felt like I was robbed or held hostage.Insanity.I was unstable. I've never been in a position where I became really helpless. What was I going to do? He's a hundred miles away from me and it is very impossible to just rush there. And even if I did, I'm gonna have to face my parents who objects to me having a love life and getting there was another obstacle. I felt really tested.

I quickly told Topeq about it and he tried to calm me down. Even Emi and Bie tried but the panic attack was too intense and at some point I felt like I was gonna pass out any time . I couldn't sit still. There would be times when I would stand up and just mumble . God, I don't even remember the words that came out of my mouth. I do remember crying. I needed reassurance that he was alright. I received another call and it was him. The reason I am still breathing. With a faint voice he told me how painful it was . Hearing him on the other line relieved me a little but it was still not enough. I wanted to see him. God knows how much I really do but I couldn't .

Earlier today, as I woke up, he texted me saying only those three words that make me tick. He still does love me. Some of the texts made me cry though as I could not help but imagine what he said. Even when I was in the church, when my parents asked why I kept on crying, I just looked at them and shook my head with a whispery voice saying "nothing". I prayed for his well being every chance I had. Prayed hard yet I still couldn't stop my tears from flowing.
Eventually, after the mass had ended, I told them that a friend of mine was involved in an accident. God! Only God knows how much it hurts to say "Friend' instead of the truth. I can't tell them the truth either because I know that it means trouble and Dad will kill me,for sure! Utterly helpless.

I found out that he already told his dad about me and it scares the hell out of me about what they would think. I know where I stand but I would do anything to prove to anyone how much I really love him. It's not about anything in material. It's all about what I feel. What he feels for me as well . This is by far one of my darkest hours. Whenever he felt down, I tried my best to suck it all up and stay positive for him. I need him to be strong for me cause I know I'm not. I don't even dare to think about it negatively but I can't help it that I think about things more negatively. I'm not an optimistic person to be frank. So, it scares the hell out of me to think about the worst-case scenario .

He's going for an operation today. I don't know exactly what time and which part of his left leg but all I can do is pray and wish. I hope all of you who's reading this would pray for him too. For him to recover soon.

Until this nightmare ends, I will just have to wait.

Sayang, I know you can't read this but I want you to know that I got your back no matter what. I can't shake it with you through our secret handshake but it's a commitment that I'm willing to take. As you know, I love you so much and I'll do whatever it takes for sunshine to rise again in our side . I can't promise but I'll try. And I'll try to be strong for you.

Random 2

I think I'm in my PMS cycle. I seem to be easily ticked off lately and it bothers me. I prefer being in a good mood but this irrelevant anger inside me just won't give up easily. Blame the hormones!

Today was like any other day. I was late to work though due to the inevitably slow traffic movements and my own bad timing. Work was alright but I wished that the contract rates from Philly & Indonesia would be pouring in cause that would've really really made my day. It wouldn't be a waste then sending them countless emails! I had my fair share of Double Cheese burger thanks to McD's latest marketing strategy for lunch with Kak Liza. She had her dose of Fillet - O- Fish though.Going home from work was even better! He came down to see me even if it was for a while. It was definitely worth it. I didn't mind waiting for him for a few minutes outisde the office. I was lucky that my 'big bro' was there to stand with me.

We went over to the pharmacy to buy my hair conditioner and my Garnier ( can't leave without em). It gave me a reason to just spend my time with him. God knows how it makes me feel inside. And he looked uber lush with that shirt that he wore. Oh,he really knows what I wanted to see ;)

So we walked from the pharmacy to the walkway along Jalan Bulan..walked past The Federal and took the shortcut to Imbi Plaza. The journey to the LRT station was filled with our constant talking and exchanged laughs as we always do. We talked a bit before I went inside the station and one guard just had to ruin the 2nd hug that he gave me. He even blew his whistle to startle us. Infidel! What's wrong with a hug? Others can just suck the life out of their lover's faces and out of all the people,why me? Why us? It was more of like a lighter deja vu of what happened 2 years ago in a shoe shop in Times Square. That incident was even more humiliating than what happened today. That bitter old brute was just a total KJ! Screw him with a drill!

Then again, no matter what happened..it was him that mattered the most. I'm glad I could give him the card that I meant to give 2 days ago and getting the reaction I wanted was precisely the cherry on top.

Anyways, it's midnight now and I really need my rest. Till next time.




xoxo,
Lyndz

I Miss

Mary

I officially met her on the second day of Chinese New Year. I had to watch Anjung Guesthouse and fill in for Florence who was on leave. I have seen her a couple of times the day before but we didn't converse. It only happened on that day when she approached me on the reception table and asked me about calling the airport to make sure that her flight to Melbourne the next day wont be delayed . At first I thought she was going to check out lol! Right. so I gave her the contact numbers but she couldn't call em for some reason. I offered to call the airport for her . Right after I hung -up and told her the details. I started to open up a conversation with her and since then, we couldn't stop talking. I got hungry and it was way past my lunch but I decided to call McD and well the rest is history. That evening, after Rish took over the shift, I went out with her and hung out at Pizza Hut . We had a blast with just talking and laughing our ass off. It always made me laugh whenever she tells me something like " your the most normal person I met here" lol sorta like that..Though it might not be the exact words that she used but hey,it's sufficient. The next day, she came by to see me before she left for Melbourne and we had lunch together in KFC. I so can't believe that the short length of time together made me felt like we knew each other longer.. I am so glad to have met her and I definitely had fun hanging out with her. I wonder when will I get to see her again. Though I'd wanna visit her someday in Edin .

Mary.. I miss you loads! :(

Mimsy

The last time I saw her was before she left my house after coming back from our day out in Sunway Lagoon. We drove there and met up with her beau and his friends about an hour later. It was generally a great day but I'm a total KJ (kill-joy) when it comes to those amusement park rides and unfortunately (out of sheer selfishness that i myself did not realize) I kind of ruined my bestie's time with her beau with my emo moments. I admit, I was a total dimwit for letting my emotions control the moment but it was just unbearable at that time. The thought of having him there with me overpowered the promise that I made with him. For those accounts, I apologized to my bestie. The highlight of our day was getting minor bruises and wounds from sliding on the kiddie slide (way to go ,Lyndz! ) . I admit that what we did was stupid but at least it was fun and I kept my promise to have fun. I'm counting on the day that my girl and I will see each other again. Seeing her laugh at me and my (sometimes) stupid jokes just makes me feel at ease. Oh and the day before we went to Sunway, we went to get our hair cut together . Her fringe was not really the way she wanted but I think she still looks lovely :) . Need not worry love, it will grow soon! *wink*

Lia

She was here last month for her leave.It was great cuz we got to spend more time together. Went to a gig and I knew she had a blast. Then again, no thanks to me, she was mistaken for a lesbian by Ga's friend. It was all because I was 'canoodling' a lot with her and there was too much physical thing goin on between the two of us .But honestly, we're so used to those behaviour with each other and well perhaps people who did not know us well would really think that either one or both perhaps of us were lesbians. Anyways,we had a lil' reunion in Pavillion with our college mates and had lunch in TGI Fridays the next day! The food was awesome and as usual, I was the source of entertainment ! haha.. Right after the girls went off their separate ways, Lia,my sister and Ga decided to watch a movie but we had no idea about what movie to watch. To our surprise, we acquired 3 Free tickets to watch IP Man from 3 teens who decided to bail out cause they had to hurry home. We had to buy another ticket though for my sis . Right after the movie was over, we walked around the mall and signed up for this free pic thingy and they printed 4 copies for each of us for free. It was one of the greatest weekends so far.

There are a bunch of other people that I miss too but I don't have enough time to write all of it down so here is my Miss List :

Ga (IMY 24/7! )
Bambam
EP
Mira
Martin
Mark
Tricia
other close friends not mentioned above
family friends


I should stop for now. It's almost 1 am and I still have to work later.

Till next time!


xoxo,
Lyndz

A new year awaits!

When was the last time I posted a blog?? Gosh, it certainly felt like forever!

A few more minutes till 2008 ends. I thank God for all the things that I have gone through this year. Even the hard times that made me stronger and better. I've been in a lot of ups and downs this year and no matter how painful a certain memory can be, I can only look forward and take it as a stumble in my life. Why turn back when all you can do is move forward,right? It's the wrong things that makes us strong.

I sure do have a lot to be thankful for rather than the opposite of it. Ha-ha!

Here's a quick list of the things that happened this year that I find quite memorable in their own way.

January

Oh gosh, I cant really remember what happened along this month except for

- Left hangin' like a rope on a New Year's Day
- Trip to Phuket, Thailand with my college friends and lecturers which included getting 'high' on booze and table top dancing. And who could ever forget the "Yeah you're like a bitch" incident that happened between me and Lia (made me not talk to her and it hurt a lot but all's good now ).
- A month full of guilt from breaking a guy's heart. ( I'm sorry )

February/March
- Possibly my first gig without Mimsy by my side but was with Lia and Mia instead to support Wingman Yas and his band perform *Bunyi Volume 1 *
- met Jiji & Yan & Liyanafnd
- Met the one and only Bebot & Bambam in ASiS and I was with Mimsy and Mia that time. I even saw the guy that Mimsy was crazy about last year. Ehem..lol!

April

- The month I met Topeq & Shook. That duo really knows how to crack me up! It also happened to be Lia's 2nd gig with me by her side.
- Started workin' at SRWE with my Tita Elvs a week ( I guess ) before my birthday.
- Lia slept over for my birthday
- Met Sya :) who happens to be the cutest person I have ever met while I was working with SRWE and she brightens up my day with her 'Escapism' lol!

May

- The month I met Angel : In a bus ( u 66 ) from PJ to KL Sentral. The bus was packed of people and I just had the urge to talk to her. She was standing in front of me and I just started talking to her. I was on the way to a gig and she was on the way to meet up with her friends.
- Gigs & gigs ...
- First ever photo shoot for a talent agency. what an experience. haha!

June

- Trip to Hong Kong/ Macau with my class . We 'strolled' in and out of the casinos in Macau, learned the stories behind Hong Kong's famous buildings and more walks!
- Angel saw me inside the bus but I did not notice her. She thought that my face looked familiar. I on the other hand, had only noticed her when I managed to take a seat. She was in front of me..holding an empty black board . We were both unsure that we have met before so I didn't really had the courage to talk to her. I got out of the bus and I walked with earphone on my ears, not really aware of my surrounding. I felt someone tap my shoulder ( I think that was she did) and when I looked to my right, I saw her and she quickly asked me, " You're Linda,right??"
My reaction was.." Oh yeah!! It's you!" and from there..we started talking and talking..exchanged numbers and the rest was history. (Sorry Babe, I forgot your name that day eheee..). It was effin cool to meet her again. Now that's what I call destiny!

July/ August

- Started working with the current company that I'm working with.
- Watched CHEER 08 @ Bukit Jalil with the one and only Bebot
-More gigs perhaps?? ha-ha..I can't remember.
- Dad had to go to Philly for almost a month to take care of my ill aunt.
- Met Bambam's friends during our lunch together : Epit & Khai
- Had sore eyes during my 2nd photo shoot and it had to be postponed due to my condition.
- Lost my favorite purple heels at KAMI the Gig in Ruums. It was also the venue where I met plenty of other people such as Alif & Adyb (who happens to be friends with Bebot) and some other girls.
- Met Karl a few weeks after KAMI the Gig in Ruums.
-Met Lia & Tira :)
- The aunt that my dad helped took care of passed away a day after my dad came back to Malaysia and I was still down with the terrible sore eyes *tsk tsk*

September/October
- Tried fasting for one day during the Ramadhan month & I succeeded (never thought I could! )
- The first 'Buka Puasa' I had & it was with my colleagues & the following week (i guess) I spent it with Mimsy, Wan & Karl.
- Got told off by dad for looking like an 'alcoholic betch' in front of his basketball players,where in reality, he was just actually irritated and discomforted with me and my sis hanging out with those guys.
- Went to see Rainbow Died Yesterday's ( Raya The Gig ) performance for the first time (after months and months of being invited) : met Emi (in person),Sofea,Abby (who reminds me of Haniff), Ema (cool chic!) Amir & Fiq.
- KAMI The Concert : Awesome & indescribably fun! The concert where I met Faiz, Meon & Jimmy (Angel's Buddies) .

November
- Celebrated Tita Lorna's birthday with a dinner and then headed to Holiday Villa and came home at 2 am with my drunk mom & dad .
- learned to make beverages from Coffeeland.
- Gig Against Racism, KL Tower : Where I cried when I was pretending to be alright while I was dancing to the beats of The Times. It was the 2nd day after Karl broke up with me.
-MyHolidayCafe opened for business (Nov 19)

December
- hung out with Yaya (after months of not seeing him) & Mira (first time I met her)
- Had the most peaceful & joyous Christmas I have ever had after years of bickering & fights every time that season comes.
-MyHolidayCafe closed for business (Dec 26 ) due to unforeseen circumstances.
- Went to Couple's album launch & had a great time with Shook,Topeq,Angel,Bie & Afiq (the details are too personal to be shared here ) :P No dirty thoughts ok!
- Finally got to watch Yuna perform and when she sang 'Deeper Conversation', that was the moment where the time stopped and I finally heard the question whispered in my ear :)


There are actually a lot more of things that happened in 2008 but hey, I'm just human. I can't remember everything. What is certain though is that I thank God for everything that had happened and for the life that he has given me. To the friends that I have met and knew this year, to the memories that we all share, I thank you all for making my life joyful. Love you all!



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May GOD BLESS US ALL!


xoxo,
Lyndz

I have been TAGGED!

Thx Mims! :P

Whats your name?
-If I told you, I'd have to kill you.. (pffttt!)

When is your birthday?
-28th April 1989

How do you feel right now?
-A bit bored, kinky,lethargic, worried and a bit high..(blame Shook!) aha

Whats the strangest thing you have done?
-A lot..i think ..

What did you do on your birthday last year?
-Had a pool party since it was my 18th and turning 18 (as a girl) is a big thing in the Filipino culture.

What about this year?
-Just had a lil 'family' dinner gathering which included my 2 best bitches ( love u )

How do you relax?
-Naps & err..sum stuff..lol

Whats your favorite book?
-How am i gonna answer this??

Who was the last person to text you?
-A vampire called Shook ha ha..

What about call you?
- Err..does a miss-call from my dad count??

Who was your last ex?
-Karl

Why did you split?
-I don't really know....but it wasn't me who decided to leave *sigh*

Have you ever been drunk?
- Drunk? not really..just been tipsy and a bit high lol

What did you wear last Halloween?
-no costumes whatsoever...

When did you last cry?
-recently..

Are your parents still together?
-Yes they are..thank you,God!

Who did you last argue with?
-my sis cuz she couldn't find my ********

What time did you go to bed last night?
-2 am or was it 3??

Who is your best friend?
-Mimi & Lia Zahar .

Do you bite your nails?
-Nope but Mimsy does! ahaa

What about toe nails?
-gross!

Whats your worst habits?
-the habit of doing things halfway or talking too much or.....

What are your hobbies?
-Chatting, making new friends, internet using, talking, biting ___,gigging, writing poems and a lot more things

Have you ever watched the sun set?
-Oh yes and this one time, I watched it set in the land of smiles aka Thailand

Where did last vacation to?
-Port Dickson perhaps..spent a night there

Whats your hair color?
-Naturally dark brown..got that from my dad's heritage LOL

What are you wearing?
-A white Giordano shirt and a green mini skirt

Do you wear makeup?
-Yeah..sometimes and wen i do it always consists of Eye-liner,lip gloss and eye shadows ..

Do you get hayfever?
-Nopeeee but I know a person that does hehe..

What music are you into?
-Anything...

Have you ever been out with your best friend’s ex?
-Guess so lol

Ever snuck out of your house?
-Oh no..it's like i live in Guantanamo Bay

What did you do today?
-Woke up a few minutes before 12, packed things to bring to the bday party,took a bath, tried on clothes to wear,had lunch and went to the party, swam in the pool for hours,came home,watched Transformers while eating McD's new burger, texted (ehem..still texting) Shook, and now I'm doing this survey.

What are you doing tomorrow?
- Work.

Whats the last thing you ate?
- Big n' Tasty burger with fries and a filipino desert that we brought home from the party:)

Are you a forgiving person?
-Yea I do,but forgiving is not forgetting!

Are you mad at anyone right now?
-Mad at .........

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
-yeah. I just got a reply from Shook

Ever had a garage sale?
-Nope..

What is/was your school like?
-Impicabbly bland and judgemental

Describe your best friend?
-Friendly,shy ,caring,lovable,wife-material (LOL!), open-minded, loyal , likes to smile, more of a giver than a reciever (no dirty thoughts plis! ) , the serious one between the both of us, deffinitely kissable & huggable!

Do you like your partner’s family?
- errr...i haven't met them before..lol

When did you last smile and why?
- a while ago because....

Have you ever cheated in a test?
-Oh well, yeah..but not that much..who hasn't??

Are you scared of falling in love?
-Sorta cuz I'm scared of getting hurt but then again..maybe I'm not that scared of it ..

Have you ever felt replaced?
-Yeah, at times and i hate that feeling!

Do you trust your friends?
-The ones that are close to me

Do you like coffee?
- Sorta..i like mochaccino & latte

Have you had kids?
-wth??

If not, do you want them?
-Yeaahh!! I wanttttttttt to be a mommy!

Are you brainy?
-ask my friends

What was the last film you watched?
-On telly was Transformers (although I've seen it a couple of times before and once in the cinema ) . And,at the cinema was Twilight.

Whats the time?
-1.33 am

How old are you going to be in 7 months?
-Wow! 20 years old and 3 months..

Was yesterday better then today?
-both days have their pros n cons but I guess today was better.

When did you last see your mum?
-Before she went to their room to sleep

Your dad?
-when he came home from the lab

Do you smile often?
-Well, in my line of duty.. I hafta! LOl but I like to smile eheh

Do you collect anything?
- Someone once told me that I collect boyfriends..lol..judging from the bf's that I've had before lol but act, I don't really collect things.. I just love collecting memmories :D

Can you remember your dreams?
-Some

Do they come true?
-I think some of them does and I becomes a dejavu..lol i think!

Who would you kill right now if you could?
-No one in particular

Where were you 4 hours ago?
-in the livin room..watching tv

What song describes your life right now?
- One step at a time by Jordin Sparks..i think

Whats your biggest regret?
-Can't tell!

Whats your body type?
-Petite and a bit fluffy ...lol

Do you have any scars?
-Yeaaa and i dispise scars!

What from?
-chicken pox scars on my face

What pets do you have?
2 fishies and a bird named Anna

Where do you get your music from?
-Limewire baby!

Your most recent lie:
- no idea

A lie you tell yourself:
-next question please!

You are embarrassed when you:
- I do really retarded things and a bunch of other stuff that i can't seem get out of my head

The memory that still makes you laugh:
- A lot but just like Mimsy said, "Back in form 4, cried because i saw Lyndz crying. Haha can’t ever forget that!"

How you picture the end of the world:
-rather not!

If reincarnation does exist, you would like to come back as :
-myself but maybe I'd like to try to live the life of someone famous just to know if things would be reallllyyy different

7 people you would like to see to take this:
- Lia Zahar
- Leya
-Bambu
-Angel
-Ash
-anyone
- I said anyone..who wants to!

-Fin-

Harsh Confessions of A Morosed Daughter

What the fuck do you really want from me?? Would you rather see me lie to you rather than tell you the truth?? I am not giving excuses but I'm actually giving you explanations . You always jump to conclusions and judge people by what you think they are instead of really listening. You think you are always right and you seem to be really full of masochism and ego. You think that we like to waste your time but in reality, your the only one stopping yourself from doing everything that you wanted. You whine, you nag, you complain that we don't care about your time but in the real world, Bie and I always plan the timing so that it will suit your so called schedule.

If you think we're a waste of your time,then why bother?? We're not even kids anymore! Wake up will you! I understand that you do all of this because you are after all a parent but you really really come off as someone who likes to hover!

Why ground us for coming home late when it wasn't the first time we came home late? At least we know how to go home,unlike some kids out there. You should understand that not everything goes your way, 'your highness'..pfftt!

Call me whatever it is that you wanna call me. Mock me! Judge me! I despise talking to you. You only know how to talk but you never listen. If you think I believe every single word you say, you are very VERY wrong. I've stop believing you since you acted weird (what's up with the discreet phone calls,betch??!)

You don't even know me well and you think you do! Full of bull! You even wrongly accused my own sister for something that she didn't do?? Fyi, I know her more than you do so I actually know what I'm talking about. All I want is to be listened to instead of this shit. I don't fancy dictatorship and yet you wonder why we can't stay put in the house? Hell, I learn more things outside than just staying at home. I'm not like mom. I am 19!!!! 19,damn it!!

I demand respect...no wait..WE demand respect! Listen when we talk and put some sense in your head. Deliberate instead of rejecting every single thing that we tell you. Unless you prefer us lying about where we want to go and what we do then fine!!


I know you do things for us and I appreciate that. You've done a lot of sacrifices for us but please understand that we're growing up. We need time for ourselves , with friends and we do know the boundaries in socializing. Keep this in you head at all times.. " I don't aspire to be the next socialite or the next Paris Hilton !!"
Ko cakap skit asal ko ckp kami social gila??
Do we party all night long and every single night of the week? NO.
Do we go out every night after work?? NO!

This is all just normal..give us a break will you?

Besides,all I do every single week is :

Work (Mon- Fri from 11 to 9pm ) - Go home . OR
Work (11-3 0n Saturdays ) - hang out somewhere / gigs (subject to your approval)
Go to church - lunch (family quality time) and hang out somewhere with the other Pinoys or out with my friends (subject to your approval /weekend plans)

What's so bad about that??

And most probably, my boss will change our operations from 11.30 till 9 every day except on Sunday (off-day)..great!!pffft!! Is this what you want?? I bet you'd feel happy cuz then I would have no time with my friends . You have always been dysfunctional when it comes to my friends. Fyi, they are the best I've ever had and without them I wouldn't have the strength to face the day especially when it comes to dealing with you . I don't even feel like going home most of the time cuz I know we will only butt heads and squabble . Why do I even bother??! Talking about this just makes me lose my appetite to do everything. One thing is for sure, I don't wanna talk to you.

Yeah I may sound bitchy and bratty but then, I have the right to talk trash about every once in a while.

DONE.

Twilight

Yes, i watched Twilight last Sunday and I watched it with 3 of my best girls - Mimsy , June & Bie (biological sister) .

I don't give a crap about what you might think but I am truly in love with that movie . It kept me on my seat from the beginning till the last scene of the movie. I even held my intentions of going to the ladies' just so I won't miss any scenes (even though the cutting of some scenes made me pissed off ) . I like the plot and the way the book was interpreted and kudos to whoever is responsible for putting those gorgeous characters in the movie . Like for instance, Jacob really reminds me of a Calvin Klein underwear model and he is just effin sexy. Even Carlisle is kinda sexy! Oh la la,that movie is a total turn on! haha

And oh, the sexual tension & attraction between Bella and Edward is effin hot. Whenever they look at each other,they just make me wanna grab and kiss the nearest person with me but I couldn't cause they are my besties. LOL!

What got me the most though was the love that Edward has for Bella and vice -versa. Their love for each other made me feel all mushy inside (euurgghh!) although I hate feelin all mushy and stuff.
I wish someday, I can have my very own Edward Cullen (minus the freaky shits ) ....
*In your dreams, beeyatch!* No one is perfect.

I can't wait for the next movie!!

Oh well, enough blabbering! I'm off to bed now. My eyes are all teary and I've been constantly yawning for the past 15 minutes. Till next time.


xoxo

A week

It's been a week since we parted. And although it has been a week, it feels more like a long time because before he told me he was leaving, we haven't seen each other for a month. He was very preoccupied and things didn't really go our way. *sigh*

Only those who really know what was going on understand how I feel and how much I miss him. But then again, life must go on no matter how fucked up it gets. I've been really busy with work,too many things on my mind and I feel like my life is currently not in order. Christmas is just around the corner yet I don't feel the Christmas spirit anywhere. I feel like this year,it would be lonely or maybe a boring one. I don't know .

It has been quite a tough week for me. With our newly opened travel cafe, I always had to run here and there and even though there weren't much customer but just making sure the place is a-ok is a challenge. The place is good though. I mean,the environment of the travel cafe. Somehow classic and classy. Jeez! with too many things on my mind right now, I can't seem to focus on writing this blog. My wrists are killing me. B t dubs, here are some pics of me,my colleagues and the travel cafe for your viewing pleasure :P





Till next time.

xoxo

I Hate

...MEN....

Who :

1. Break Promises
Yeah I told the people that are close to me about this a lot of times and they know I hate people who keep promises and end up breaking them. Yup,especially MEN! Promising things are quite scary ( does that mean i have a problem with commitment???).

2. (Are) Disrespectful to women
Call me a sexist or a feminist but this is a hard fact. Men nowadays treat women badly most of the time. As a test, try riding a full bus and stand up in front of a guy. Notice how he will ignore you even with your 3 inch heels on! I have nothing against equal rights but hey, what ever happened to the old 'damsel in distress' concept? Sure,now women are much more stronger and powerful than the ones from the past but hey, cut us some slack! We probably work more than you do! And oh, I'm not being traditional here. I'm just trying to reach out to guys out there to act more like a gentleman rather than a brute.

3. (Are) Abusive
Out of all the things that I hate, this is definitely in my top list! I can't stand it when a man is abusive to his other half (girlfriend/wife). May it be verbally or physically (especially physically). This thing really pisses me off. How could a man even dare to raise his hand to a woman?? That is fucking barbaric! One of my friends recently broke up with her beau of two years and it ended in a really bad way. They had a fight because he can't accept the fact that she's leaving him for another (who happens to be much better than him & definitely more understanding) and she ended up with bruises on her one arm and well,it was quite traumatic. She's a tough chic though so whenever he became violent , she'd fight back and damn,she hit him good! Serves him right. She totally made the right decision. How could she even bear with the guy for two years? He cheated on her twice when they were together! Glad to hear that he is out of the picture though . That fucking turd!
Verbal abuse is as bad but the effect is more can be long term . I mean, If you hit someone,all that person gets are bruises and it will eventually go away but if you hurt someone verbally, it might stay with that person for ages which can possibly lead to mental abuse. Err..

4. Untrue / Cheaters
I am aware that girls do this too but guys do it twice as much as the chics. If you do not wish to suffer equally or worse, then don't even think about doing it. Frankly speaking, guys can cheat girls for the lamest,stupidest reason but hey, that's how the cookie crumbles! Ladies, let's just face the fact that MEN will always be MEN. That will never change. Like it is somehow genetically implanted on their brains or something! *Sigh* LOL!

5. Takes advantage of women
Ok, if a girl gets friendly with a guy,it's better NOT to assume that she's into him. This is weird and I know how it feels. There's a difference between being friendly and giving the signs for something more than friendship. What I'm trying to say is, I hate it when guys harass girls cause they think the girl is okay with it. But I can't just put the blame on the guy cause sometimes, girls just give out the wrong signals. LOL..Oh well,that's life! I better stop before I end up saying something really unpleasant.

6. Has Too Much Ego
Everyone knows that this is true. Too much masochism and ego can destroy a man. imagine what it can do to a relationship.


I have things to say about girls too but for now this is all what my head asked me to do. It's not easy being a girl and there are things I hate about girls. Nevertheless, I love being a girl. Oh well, back to work.

P.S; This urge to smoke is killing me!! I don't want to cause I wanna quit for good but a part of me wants to. Nooooooooo I don't want to smoke. I'm gonna try and try to stop myself. It's for my own good anyways. And i know most men hate women who smoke!

Till next time.


Sincerely,
ShaLyndz Ayano ( haha)