October 18, 2009

Ten Thirty Eight

It's been ten minutes since I posted that title . I don't even know why I want to post a new blog. I just feel like doing it. Perhaps for the sake of feeling alone? It's so quite here..all I can hear is the Tv and some cheap fireworks outside my house. Oh yeah,dad just sneezed.

Might as well turn the music on and wait for words to fill me up..Hmm..okay. Thoughts about my life came streaming in like a river full of fertile salmons swimming upstream to mate. You probably don't get what I'm trying to convey but never mind. You don't have to understand. All I wanna do is release all those thoughts and put them down into words but I don't quite know where to start. I don't even know if I want to talk about it now. All I know is that I am missing my beau so much that it feels like I haven't seen him in ages. Honestly, no matter how long I spend time with him, it's just not adequate,not enough!!! 24 hours can pass like 24 minutes when we are together. How dreadful it feels whenever my hand is not held by the only man who has 100% of my heart. Baybee, I miss you so effin much!!!

Another Monday to fret about. I hate it. I hate Mondays. They rarely never fail to bring me down.  A lot of work to do and shit knows what issues will just pop out again like effin shrooms tomorrow. Work!!

I can't help to think about where my life takes me next. Trust me, it might look easy being me but it's far more complicated than that and the only person at this moment who is aware of my inner struggles is my beau. He's helped me go through hard times.  A lot. My girls are not that convenient to be reached at the moment so all I have is my baby. Thing is, what do I really want to do when I quit my job? What's in store for me in the future? Would everything be better? Those questions scare me a lot so I don't think I want to even answer those and I don't even want to dive into those thoughts. My head is just so full of questions that are unanswered and riddled . It's just tiring to think about it but what can I do? I'm sorry for thinking too much about things..it's stupid ,I know but..that's just my vice. Shitty, i know! *sigh*

What else can  I blab about? Well, myspace is getting really quite lately..perhaps it's due to the on-going FB phenomenon. One thing's for sure though, Myspace is def more stylish than FB! haha..I don't think I have anything else to say right now. Too tired..till my next post.

xoxo AD (Anne Dsycalculia)