March 30, 2008
After countless walking around the mall, Trix and I stopped by the toilet. Took me a while to find it cuz I havent been to that place since last year (lmao). While I was waiting for her in front of the sink..some other teenage chics were like a few metres away from me,talking about God knows what in front of the mirror,checking themselves out and it came across ma head that they prolly went there with some guys and yes i was right. Well, on the way out of the toilet, this chic looked at me in an infuriating manner and with the " I look way better than you" look on her face. I wasn't looking at her that time but i saw the whole thing in the mirror. "Whose dumb now, biatch??" I seriosly hate it when girls think that they are complete hot stuffs.. puhleaaasee! We're all the same! We would all still stink and rot when we die! So why look down on other people who you think might not be as well dressed as you? Damn.. Unless a fashion-crime has been done but it still doesn't give you the access to look down on someone.
It's weird though that some girls, go to gigs just to get noticed with what they have on instead of enjoying good fun music. hohohooo.....narcissism really rules the world nowadays..
March 11, 2008
It is so unfair.. I effin much that someone and i don't think he even knows that I do. My bestfriend found someone who loved her and that she loved as well. My other bestie also found a guy that loves her so much. My sister too.. That makes me more lonely than ever. Why?? It's kinda tiring to just wait and wait but..I think it might be worth waiting for a TL to come my way :)
I guess the sceptics were right about that four letter word that everybody experiences- LOVE. I ain't talking about the love of a parent to the child or the love you get from friends..no no..it's the type of love that gets u trippin,stumbling, tumbling (yeah,u guessed it...Fergie's song called "Clumsy"). All of those
For some freakin reason, i feel like i have been cursed by summin or someone. So far, I have never been with someone for more than 6 months. I've been in 8 relationships and not evn one of them survived 6 mths. It always ends with me getting dumped or me dumping someone.
When i thought that things would go well, i stand corrected. I don't understand why I end up being a sucker. A sucker for that four letter word that I find hard to type at the mo. I thought it was different but it turned out to be quite similar with what i had gone through in the past. Eventhough there were times where i felt like quiting or leaving..my feelings for him made me hold on to it. Ignoring all those voices in my head that kept telling me to leave. All those moments i spent with him meant a lot to me but now everything is just a memmory that will stay in my head.... Leaving me and my heart badly bruised and broken (again).
And because what i feel for that someone is true, i just did the only thing that made him happy although it s not easy to do..I just LET GO.
I just browsed through all my old comments...and i saw all the comment we sent each other aaages ago. Reading through all of those and looking at the pics and icons that come with the comments made me miss her more..I miss doing those stupid things that we can't help but do wenever we are effin bored..i even saw the pic where we were both lying on the floor..lookin wasted..and my pics that she sent through Myspace...
Oh and our video..
thinking about what we've been through made me realize that our relationship is more than a friendship but also a sisterhood..a way of living..and can sometimes be described as 'lesbianism' [lol on that]
Through her..because of her..my world became a better place..and I wouldn't be Lyndz if it wasn't for her. It's funny how the time heals everything. Get this, I used to dislike her and was jealous of her back when we we're in Form 3 because back then she was close with my 'object of attention/bestie'. A year later..We were in the same class. And that's when my whole world became greater. We endeavored heaps of bittersweet situations together.
Oh i still remember, when I had a fight with one of our mates just for the sake of defending my other homegirl, Shed that made the three of us cry. Well..it was sheer anger that made me cry. I was shouting and I almost pulled out a chair and the next thing I kno..I was crying..then Shed cried..and then She approached me and cried by my side. That same day this lame as teacher caught all of us not wearing our uniforms. Shed and i got sent to the counselor's office together with the girl's that we had a fight with. She was left behind with my other friend in the classroom only to find themselves the victim of our principal's wingwoman [lol] who happens to have no clue watsoever about how to use phone cameras [she used it to take their pix].
Back to what i really have in mind! I appreciate everything that she has done for me and cherish everything that we've done together..All those misunderstandings and lil quarrels are just challenges to see how far our friendship can withstand everything. When the world turned their backs on her,i was there and i would like to be there again if ever...
Time passed by and now we're both in different colleges. New life,new cliques and set of friends etc. And she's somewhere quite far away from home [and me].
Even though we don't get to spend almost everyday of our lives together like back in high school,and we don't always get the chance to talk to each other,it's alright. I understand her and I know that even though we're miles apart, my thoughts about her is not. Only God knows how much i love her , miss her and how much she means in the world to me. I don't know how I'd be if i lost her.
She is my greatest SCANDAL
She is my Ho
She is my Boo
She is my BESTFRIEND,Mimi.
Mimi once said : " Valentines Day for Miss Mimi and Miss Lyndz means... Girl's Only and No Testicles Day"
Speaking of that so called 'famous' phrase..When will I get to really love again?? I'm just sick of all those 'spring flings'. I'm not saying this because I'm desperate for a boy friend [ok?!] but becuz think..[w8!! I'm gonna say this in my native linggo]..here goes..Dahil may dahilan na ako kung bakit ayaw ko ng makipag-fling. Ayoko ng iba dahil cya lang ang gusto ko[ows!] I was never lonely until..
Well anyways, i had quite a long day..and longer days awaits me.. My trial exams :
1.This Friday-just 80 Fucking questions tho-
2. The real exam will be on the 15th of March [which is just around the fucking corner]
Today..after doing revissions, Aliah and I went for lunch and hung out in Times Square..lol..
Yesterday,I went to IT'S A GIG DUDE! and stayed there till COUPLE finished performin.. it was a blast and altho sumtimes i felt lonely..all and all.it was a great day..I got to see my ho [love u loads yaw]..and met new friends.. at ang hilite ng buong araw ko?? Cyempre dahil nakita at nakasama ko cya hehehehe... I waited for the train for almost an hour and I arrived home around 12 midnight..Good thing my parents were in a good mood or else i'd be grounded by now..huhuhuuuu..
Fuckkk..I got heaps of other things to do..daymnnnn.. Till next time then..
March 10, 2008
For years now, I have been wondering how some people can last for more than three months together. I mean..I admit that when i see couples who are madly in love with each other and especially if they look cute together, I get envious. For sheez!! How many times should I mention this fact: " I've never been in a relationship that lasted for more than 3 months"..?? Go figure! Like my other bad-ass bitch called Alice said, 'it's not your time yet I guess.." lol. That mami sure knows wat shit was she talking about. Up to date..how many 'spring flings' or so called 'scandals' have i been into? And most of them lasts for only 3 weeks. Like seriously! What's with the number 3? 3 months,3 weeks????3 days [been there,done that hun!]
Cmon! I'm in college ho! I wanna know how a steady one feels like. I'm kinda tired of being in every corner. Jumping from one fling to another like err....jumping on trains? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one feeling like this in this world. lol..
Sometimes, I just fucking envy my sister cause she's got the same guy hanging around for 4 years now. Eventho they previously broke up and got back together after 2 years. I was (afterall) responsible for the breakup ( cuz back then I didn't think he deserves my sis-protective much)! Sometimes I just wish that someone would love me as I am. Funny thing is, even my sis has a fair share of envy wen it comes to my so-called love life. Lol..watevs!
Like I said before, I'm not lonely..it's just that when you meet that someone,for some weird un-explainable reason, your heart feels empty like a hollow picture frame hung on the wall that needs a perfect photograph to complete it.
Mutual understanding is enough for me at the moment though..I couldn't as k for more. :D
Oritey then..I think that's enough for now. Tho all these blogging made me [in a way] wish that I took Mass Comm instead of Tourism management. *SIGH*