November 8, 2008

Pen & 2 Papers

Note before you read : This was written hours before I posted it here. The ones that are written at the time of posting will be in bold font.

Time : 1412 hours.
Location : Kenny Roger's Berjaya Times Square.

I just finished eating my 1/4 Meal set and now I'm munching on my favorite banana muffin and sippin' on my ice lemon tea. I'm not suppose to be alone right now but I'm left with not much choice. So, here I am,sitting all alone writing my heart out while I observe the people around me. Right now, there's a lady who's with her boyfriend,sitting in front of my table. Oh, the guy left her alone for a while and she seems to be in a text conversation while he is away. I could see her smile widely but then that smile turned into a blank stare whenever she finishes replying the text. She must be in deep thought. Oh,she's smiling again..

I'd love to stay here,in this mall a little longer just to pass the time but I can't because I have to go somewhere else later today. My dad even reminded me to come home early (as usual) . That became another reason why I'm not bothered of asking anyone out. What's the point of hangin' out if it was just for an hour or two?? It won't be much fun. Hmm..maybe next week would be okay. The ones I called & texted earlier today are nowhere near the city anyways. They are either lying in bed,showering,still sleeping,studying or busy with assignments. Oh well, at least my boredom kinda went away for awhile with the calls & texts that I made.

Anyways, I wish he was here right now. It just feels effin different when he is not around. I know he wont be coming though. He must be still asleep or even if he wasn't he's probably busy doing his assignments or just getting ready for his final exams. I understand what he is going through right now but I know I'm not on top of his priority list at them moment. It kinda bothers me because I really feel abandoned,empty and left out in the dark. There were moments where I feel like i don't matter anymore and that I'm not worth his time anymore. I mean like last time, he wouldn't whine about seeing me even for a short time but lately all he do is well..let's just say he's been immature lately. Most people around me have told me that "if you love someone,no matter how busy you are, you would still find the time to be with them. At least you know things are okay between you two." But in my case?? It's below par. Oh well, what's a girl to do?? My sister once told me ,"maybe he's bored of you?" and all I did was look at her anxiously & doubtfully.

Things like this always gets me thinking of why I'm still hanging around even when I'm mistreated but hey,who ever said that love was a bed of roses?! They are probably delusional! With every heart that we glorify,there is bound to be a bruised and broken heart on another corner and it occurs as an aftermath of our action. I guess the answer to why I'm still around is because deep down inside,I'm still pretty much in love with him and it would be fucking stupid to leave just because of a small challenge. i just wish that things would go back to normal soon. God knows how much I miss him. I miss his presence. The feeling when he holds me close,when he grabs my hand and holds it firmly like he won't ever let go & the thing I miss the most are the times when I make him laugh.

Omigosh!It's 2.43 p.m. I better be off soon before I get a crank-call' from my dad. Damn it, I don't fancy his calls cause it always sounds strict & offensive but I'm kinda used to that haha! The almost full restaurant is almost empty now. The peak lunch hour has passed and all that are left are the late eaters & snack munchers. I really gotta bounce now. Besides, it's getting kinda uncomfortable here.

...................... hours later ...................................
A few minutes after arriving the station, I waited for my dad & sis to come pick me up. From the station, we had a quick stop-over at a nearby mall to buy Tita's birthday pressie & some groceries. I'm home now but I'll be out again in a few minutes. Dinner with my extended family. It's Tita's birthday. Till next time!


P/s : Birthday Shout-out to My beloved Tita Lorna. Happy Birthday!Stay the same! We ♥ you so much & you have been like a mother to me.
My 2nd mommy, Ti Voglio Bene!

1 comment:

mohnorashraf said...

eh u gi bb td..i mcm prasan u td..but not too sure about that..hehe