October 5, 2008


Yesterday was a long day for me. Eventful yet quite tiresome.

As I always do every Saturday, I woke up early with the 'work mode' on the back of my head. Had around 2 hours of sleep due to an emotional sharing session which I totally appreciated (thanks Shook for sharing and you know I'm always here to listen *smile*). I thought I was gonna be late for work but I was wrong. I wasn't in the mood to dress myself up like what I always do every weekend so I just wore my black mini balloon skirt that Ginger gave me last year and a top that screams out 'naughty girl in nice wrappings' (by Ed & Edd). To top it off, I wore my fave pair of sneakers. I totally felt like a stranger to myself but whatever! Ok, so I arrived in the office at around 8.30 a.m and there was no one in sight. Even the grills were closed but good thing I managed to open it. I went to the pantry and started munching on a piece of bread that i bought. Nothing much happened after that except for the constant arrivals of my colleagues and then work.

I got out of the office at almost 2pm. I thought I wasn't gonna see him but I did. It sure made my day and I had the chance to give him that lil summin I bought for him while i was gift shopping for my god sister's birthday. We had lunch together at the same place where we wrote our names on the wall but it wasn't at the same table. Who cares anyway?! Oh, I never thought that one moment would happen but it did. Something just pushed me to utter a line that I can never forget. " I can only taste the lemon on my lips and nothing else....wanna taste it too?" Does that sound funny or what? Come to think of it, it's a pretty funny line to use but it worked. Made me giggle though. I'm not gonna kiss and tell about what happened next cause it would just ruin the whole memory and besides, it's between me and him.

I arrived home around 4 p.m. I had to rush a little cause we we're going to the birthday party. We arrived at the scene around 6pm i guess. The party hasn't even started yet. Everything began a few minutes before 8. It was alright at the beginning. Food was good too,as always! The only thing that made it enjoyable was the booze. I may not be a heavy drinker but it was my source of entertainment. Seeing drunk people talk crap and do interesting things in front of me is always priceless. Yes of course my parents were there and they don't mind me drinking but even though they don't mind,there were still obvious doubts about what I was doing. I just had 2 glasses of Club 99 and a shot of tequila ( i was just gettin started!) with some homeboys when my dad told me off everyone there. It was down right embarrassing. I didn't do anything wrong and I was perfectly fine -and I mean it! I wasn't drunk! He,on the other hand thought I was and he started to hate what he saw. After he told me off, i stopped drinking but I was still at the table (with my sister ) talking to them. Whenever he approaches, he would snoop around and there was this one time when he raised his voice and told me off again. Ok, the first was alright and acceptable but this time, I wasn't even drinking and for him to do that was down right lame and retarded. The thing is, I was just talking and a glass full of liquor that belonged to the person sitting beside me (who wasn't there at that time) was in front of me. Talk about judging things too soon!
After those two incidents, I lost my mood to even talk and have fun. I just sat there,listened to all of them (including the host) laugh around. Dad was there too,sipping on his tea with a displeased look on his face. Time passed and by 1a.m,we were going off already. Too bad we couldn't stay. maybe that was another reason why he wouldn't let us sleep over. On the way to the car,during the 'bye-bye.see u next time" session, my dad over-heard one homeboy (that i was talking to previously) telling me to drop by his work place some time if I'm free. He told me off again inside the car. I was just nodding my head and smiling when the guy told me. I wasn't serious on planning to meet up with him. No way! I'd rather go out with my sayang than him. My dad thought I was really going to meet up with the guy so he said "don't you dare or else you're done with!". What the fuck !!!! Why am i always misjudged?
Last night was just a screw up. I never thought it would end up like that. He was telling me off from the car to the house. What a joyride!
I know why he acted that way. He was just protecting me and all. I value that but why can't he be less tense about it? He seriously doesn't know me and my sister well. First of, I don't go for those types of guys and secondly, I'm not 'that' type of girl. Think I'm cheap? I'll smack your face in return! I hate it when people (including my own parents) give me wrong perceptions. It's just fucking retarded that people judge other people based on their current behavior. What's happening now and how that person deals with it varies from time to time. It doesn't give people the right to judge them quickly. Helloooooo! I'm trying to think from both sides here! I know and understand how parents would feel if their kid is behaving weirdly than what they are accustomed with. My dad reacted way over the matter and I defended me and my sister with the type of manner that can seem to be rude. Yes I know it's my fault too and I admit it. Just don't tell me this again mom," your cousins aren't like that!". You don't have any idea how their lifestyle is so quit pretending that you know them very well! That goes to you too dad! I know and realize that I'm not the most descent girl you can meet but at least I know boundaries and limits. There are other girls out there that are worse than me and my sis. Oh, I forgot,why would you care ?They aren't your responsibilities anyway!

And to my sayang, I'm sorry about last night..the drinking and all. I understand that you felt what dad felt.Forgive me.I didn't mean to upset you. I know I have upset you plenty of times and I'm sorry. I ♥ you.

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